Thursday, April 10, 2008

Quilter Husband's Lament
I've always learned that life
was full of obstacles and woes.
I've learned to live with sickness,
death and taxes, heaven knows.
I've taken all these things in stride,
the problems and strife,
But one I didn't count on
was a Quilter for a wife.
Come home from work, the stove is cold,
the dirty clothes still there,
The suit I wanted cleaned today,
still laying on the chair.
"Where's Mama, son?" I asked my boy,
"This house is such a mess.
Why, all the sheets are missing,
we've been burglarized I guess."
"No, Mama stripped down all the beds
and took the sheets away.
She cut them into little strips
and pieced two quilts today."
"Why every pair of pants I own
is cut in little squares."
"I'm demonstrating appliqué,"
my lovely wife declares.
I show up in the office in my boxer shorts and tie.
My secretary giggles
and the clerks give me the eye.
It's freezing cold, I'm shaking
and my knees are turning blue.
My boss considered firing me,
but his wife's a quilter too.
I told him what happened
and he said he could believe.
I noticed that the coat he wore
had only half a sleeve.
A husband needs a loving wife
to help him when he's ill.
To soothe and comfort, mop his brow
and help him take his pills.
Should influenza strike you,
your life's not worth a dime,
Particularly if it hits
at Quilt Convention time.
You'll lay there in an empty house
in pain and deep despair,
While the workshops and the lectures
keep your wife's attention there.
You learn to ask no questions
when she smiles and drives away,
Rushing to the Fabric Shop
for a big sale there today.
She's gone for hours,
then drags back home all bleary eyed and down,
Now who'd believe a lie like that?
She must be running round.
But I'll get by, I always do,
some days are fine, some not.
When your wife's a Quilter
you tolerate a lot.
I know that when my life is through
and I pass away
They'll have to set my funeral
so it's not a Quilting Day.
Author: Cathy Miller


Michelle said...

That's too funny! But probably quite true! :)

Karen Dianne Lee said...

Love it!

kjquilts said...

LOL! That part about the cold stove and the dirty laundry rings a bell around here!

log cabin quilter said...

I don't think I'll show this to my DH!

BusyLiz said...

That is GREAT!!! What a smart lady that Cathy Miller. She must be speaking from experience.